BRAIN WAVES
FOMO. Ever wish you were invited to a dinner party? Maybe just ask. A new study finds that people hesitate to ask to join others’ plans because they assume doing so would be rude. But actually, people are usually more open to spontaneous company than we think. Across eight experiments, researchers found that potential “self-inviters” underestimate how much plan-holders would welcome their presence. So what gives? People tend to assume that if they weren't invited, it was on purpose. In reality, it’s usually because the plan-holders didn’t think about extending an invite. "The next time you find yourself wanting to join the plans of others, do not be afraid to ask to do so,” the researchers conclude. “Our studies show that they will not be nearly as irritated as you might expect and that there is a good chance that the prospect of inviting you merely simply slipped their mind.”
The happiness paradox. We’ve talked on the show about the counterintuitive nature of chasing happiness. In a new paper researchers examined two ways people pursue happiness: holding happiness as a goal to strive towards vs. judging every experience by how much happiness it brings. People who constantly monitored their happiness reported lower life satisfaction and more symptoms of depression. The takeaway? “Very few moments, if any, will bring only happiness, and latching on to the less-than-perfect aspects of positive moments will ultimately spoil them,” said co-author Felicia Zerwas. “Instead, accepting the emotions we are feeling in the moment allows us to move forward without adding any extra negativity to the experience.”
See me. All of us want to “seen” by the people around us. We want to be understood and recognized as unique individuals. Yet the experience of being seen in this way can be dispiritingly rare. How can we bridge the gap? Listen to learn more.
ON THE HIDDEN BRAIN PODCAST
Relationships 2.0: The Power of Tiny Interactions + Your Questions Answered: Erica Bailey on Authenticity: As you go about your day, you likely interact with family, friends and coworkers. These relationships can help you feel cared for and connected. But what if there’s a whole category of people in your life whose impact is overlooked? Today, in a favorite episode from our archives, psychologist Gillian Sandstrom reveals some simple ways to make your life a little more joyful and maybe even a little less lonely. Then, we talk with researcher Erica Bailey, who responds to listeners’ questions about authenticity and how to reveal our true selves to the people around us.
ON THE MY UNSUNG HERO PODCAST
Stephanie Garber’s Story: In the late 1980s, Stephanie was driving to an appointment when she was hit by a large pickup truck. As she stood on the sidewalk crying, a woman came up to her and handed her a cup of tea.
Don’t forget to send us the story of your unsung hero! Record a voice memo on your phone and email it to myunsunghero@hiddenbrain.org.
MIND GAMES
One family wants to get through a tunnel. Dad can make it in one minute, mom in two minutes, son in four and daughter in five minutes. No more than two people can go through the tunnel at one time, moving at the speed of the slower one. How can they all make it to the other side if they have a torch that lasts only 12 minutes and they are afraid of the dark?
LAST WEEK’S PUZZLE
What can travel around the world while staying in a corner?
Answer: A stamp
A MOMENT OF JOY
Have an idea for Hidden Brain? A story you want to share with us? Send an email to ideas@hiddenbrain.org. Listen to us on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music or your favorite podcast platform.