What makes a grudge stick?
Plus, the personality traits associated with activism
Hard feelings. We tend to think of grudges as slights that we hold onto out of anger or resentment. Research paints a picture that’s a little more complicated. In a recent study, researchers asked people to recall an unresolved conflict and then measured how hurt, angry, and judgmental they felt toward the offender. They found that the emotions of hurt or anger on their own didn’t reliably predict grudges, but when people felt both at the same time, the grudge-holding spiked. Why? It seemed that combination pushed people to see the offender as morally bad — not just annoying or careless, but fundamentally untrustworthy — and that moral condemnation locked the grudge in place. Put simply, when we hold a grudge, we’re not just holding onto anger. We make a moral judgement about someone and then keep them at arm’s length to protect ourselves. Thus, some conflicts resolve quickly while others live rent-free in your head for years.
Who are the helpers? Some folks are more drawn to activism than others, even when they’re equally outraged about a crisis. A new study wanted to find out what kinds of people are most likely to get involved during times of trouble. Researchers followed more than 700 people in Germany before and after Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, tracking their personality traits, empathy levels, and how they helped out (whether they donated, volunteered, protested, took political action right away or later on, etc.). They found that people who were open, outgoing, and especially empathetic were consistently more likely to get involved, while highly conscientious people were less likely to jump into activism. The empathy factor is unsurprising, but you’d think that being conscientious would make people more likely to organize. So what gives? The study suggested that conscientious people might also be more obedient toward authority figures or more distracted with other projects they’re working on.
Under pressure. Whether it’s a wedding speech or a work presentation, we’ve all been there. You want to perform at your best. You know what you’re doing and you’ve done it a hundred times before. But then, you choke. Why do so many of us crumble under pressure? And what we can do about it? Listen to learn more.
ON THE HIDDEN BRAIN PODCAST
Keeping Secrets: We all carry secrets. But doing so can be costly: hiding takes mental work and can harm our health and relationships
ON THE MY UNSUNG HERO PODCAST
Kristi Reeves’ Story: On the day her divorce was finalized, Kristi set out alone on a mountain hike. When she broke down on the trail, a stranger asked if she needed a hug — and helped her find the strength to keep going.
Don’t forget to send us the story of your unsung hero! Record a voice memo on your phone and email it to myunsunghero@hiddenbrain.org.
DON’T FEEL FOMO: COME SEE US LIVE!
Our next stops on Hidden Brain’s live tour are just weeks away! Join Shankar for an evening of science and storytelling in Philadelphia on March 21 or New York City on March 25. He’ll be sharing seven key psychological insights from his first decade hosting the show. And stayed tuned for more tour stops to be announced later this spring!
MIND GAMES
If you multiply this number by any other number, the answer will always be the same. What number is this?
LAST WEEK’S PUZZLE
A man got into a ship and could see more than four continents at the same time. How is this possible?
The answer: It was a spaceship
A MOMENT OF JOY
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