How to sound more polite
Plus, relationship doubts
BRAIN WAVES
Slow down. What does politeness sound like? A new study set out to test the relationship between speech rate and politeness. Researchers ran four studies where subjects took part in a few different tasks: they listened to slow versus fast speech in an unfamiliar language, imagined speaking politely or casually, and then recorded themselves reading the same message under different politeness instructions. They found that study participants consistently perceived slower speech as more polite. And when they were trying to speak politely, they also tried to speak more slowly. “People not only associate politeness with a slower speech rate but also use slower-paced speech to convey politeness,” the study concluded. Next time you’re in a conversation with someone, don’t be afraid to slow it down — within reason, of course.
Doubt it. What makes a good relationship? A study looked at how relationship doubts—like not being certain about the future of the relationship or exactly where the other person stands—can shape everyday interactions between romantic partners. It’s something that’s been dubbed “relational turbulence theory.” Researchers brought opposite sex couples into a lab and had them plan a hypothetical vacation or figure out how to run a bunch of errands. Then they measured their emotions, behaviors, and level of engagement during the conversations. They found that when people, especially men, felt uncertain about their relationship they were less happy and more annoyed planning out both of these tasks — the vacation and the errands. “How you feel about your romantic relationship at the moment (especially if you’re having doubts) colors your emotions during conversations with your partner,” said lead author Kellie Brisini, “and in turn, the way you communicate.”
You kidding me? If you are a parent or a teacher, you’re constantly wondering: how do I balance play and safety for the kids in my care? You don’t want to put children in danger, but you also don’t want to rob them of the joy of exploration. Listen to learn more.
ON THE HIDDEN BRAIN PODCAST
A Secret Source of Connection: What keeps us from taking a moment to help someone in need? We explore the “prosociality paradox,” and how to overcome this barrier. Then, psychologist Gordon Flett responds to listener comments about the importance of feeling that we matter.
ON THE MY UNSUNG HERO PODCAST
Stephen Parker’s Story: During his first year of college, Stephen was devastated by the loss of a relationship he didn’t yet fully understand. One difficult night, a roommate listened with compassion, never pushing him to confront feelings he wasn’t ready to face.
Don’t forget to send us the story of your unsung hero! Record a voice memo on your phone and email it to myunsunghero@hiddenbrain.org.
MIND GAMES
What call for help, when written in capital letters, is the same forwards, backwards and upside down?
LAST WEEK’S PUZZLE
What can you hold in your right hand, but never in your left hand?
The answer: Your left hand
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MOMENT OF JOY
It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood.
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